If There is a God, Will He Show Himself? – Bill W. Recounts his Spiritual Experience

Throughout Bill Wilson’s life, he must have told the story of AA’s early days and his own personal story hundreds of times. His description of his spiritual experience and the events leading up to it was very consistent, although at times he focused on different aspects of the story, probably to suit his audience. The transcription and recording below is from a talk that Bill presented to a group in Chicago in 1951 in which he went into great detail of his spiritual experience.

Bill W. Recounts his Spiritual Experience:

 

This transcription and recording is included in the book Dr. Bob and Bill W. Speak by Michael Fitzpatrick

“At length I returned again to the hospital to be cleared up. The doctor put me to bed. I wasn’t yet in such a bad way. Three days later, free from sedative and alcohol, I looked up one morning out of my depression and saw this friend standing in the door. I feared he would evangelize me, but no, he didn’t.

He said he heard I was there — just came to pay a friendly visit. I asked him once more what the terms of his release were. Quite simply he stated them, and again he took himself away. Well, when he had gone my depression deepened, until it seemed that I was in the bottom of a pit.

For you see I still rebelled against the idea that there would be a God who could save me; who could enable me to do what I couldn’t do myself. But presently my rebellion ceased and in an agony I cried out, “If there is a God, will He show Himself?”

And then came an experience which, of course, is the great event of my whole life. I had a very sudden experience in which it seemed that the room lighted up. I was caught into a great ecstasy. It seemed as though I were on top of the mountain and a great wind blew and I knew it was Spirit. And at length I found myself still on the bed, now surrounded by a Presence. And I thought to myself, “So this is the God of the preachers.”

You yourselves have had exactly the same kind of things happen to you, excepting that it took longer. But all of you sitting out there are now conscious that there is a Higher Power. There is One on whom you can depend.

So I pondered there, after this experience. I thought about the very simple terms on which it had come. I thought about its profound simplicity and yet its deep mystery. For indeed, I did feel released. And it seemed to me that other alcoholics could find a kindred experience.

And I began to sense that one alcoholic talking to another might do what no others could to open the way for the grace of God. So I commenced to work with others. And nothing happened. A succession of failures there was for six months. Meanwhile, my first friend began to stumble and fall by the wayside and would not be picked up and set right.”

-Bill W. speaking in Chicago in 1951

This transcription and recording are from the book Dr. Bob and Bill W. Speak by Michael Fitzpatrick

The Recovery Speakers team is able to share and continue this work solely through donations from our users and supporters. Please consider a donation.

Latest articles

Related articles

CONTRIBUTE TO THE RECOVERYSPEAKERS.COM PROJECT:

Recovery Speakers is now an official 501(c)(3) public charity!
We appreciate your support and thank you for any contributions that you can make. All contributions go toward making it possible for us to continue our work in preserving and making the audio history of the 12-Step movement available today and for all future generations.